I watched a video this morning that talked about why it is hard for adults to make friends. (And some of you may be saying, “I have lots of friends” or “I think that’s easy.” I’m glad you are doing well in that department. Just know there are others of us who find it hard to maintain deep close-knit friendships as we get older.) The man said when you are a kid it is easy to place a lot of worth on another kid. You spend a lot of time building that relationship and caring about that person. As we grow older we have less time, different priorities, and don’t want to put forth the same effort we used to when you are not sure the relationship will even work out. I’ve seen friendships and family relationships separated by politics, religion, choice in spouse, having kids, moving, work schedule etc. There are many factors at play. But his bottom line of how relationships take work is true and that goes for our relationship with our heavenly Father as well.
Relating to the world around us, to other people, and living life in general require redirecting our focus away from ourselves and things we might be constantly thinking about. For example, the other day I was walking, as I often do, from my workplace to the post office. I tend to watch my feet because I’m kind of a klutz and don’t want to trip. I took a moment to stop and look up and what I saw was very beautiful (see images below). I love flowers but gardening is not my gift. I appreciate the labor of love others share through their ability. This particular garden is cared for by one volunteer. She does it as a ministry for her church and to beautify the community. If I never look up from my daily trudge, I miss seeing the beauty that God is sharing all around us.
Like flowers, people need lots of care. Sometimes at work I feel like I just want everyone to leave so I can actually get something done. But what would happen if I would take the time to look up from my desk? There are so many people around me who may be suffering from something as simple as needing a listening ear. On Fridays in the summer the office officially closes at noon. Last Friday, when the time came, I turned my light off and locked my door while continuing to work away at tasks that were not yet complete. The crew that cooks the daily free meal had left and only two other people were doing some extra cleaning in the kitchen. For an unknown reason, I decided to turn my light back on and open my door. I’m usually a fan of hiding in the dark but that day I just wanted some extra light to work by. It wasn’t even two minutes and a lady came into my office in tears. She had been attending a meeting upstairs and she said she felt alone that no one cared about her and she was better off dying. She wanted to know why there were people around her at this meeting talking about how much they did for others when she was sitting right next to them and they didn’t even seem to acknowledge her existence. She is fairly new in town and has no friends.
Depression is a hard thing to fight, it is compounded by other issues going on in your life related to health, work, and other stresses. It makes you think that no one notices whether you are here or not, when in reality there are probably many people who love and care for you. Your eyes are focused down staring at the brick sidewalk. Sometimes it takes just one person, even if you don’t really known them, to make that difference in your life, to draw your eyes up to the flowers. Jesus wants us to have relationships with others as He did (Acts 10:38). In order to do that we must open the door and turn the light on and let people know we are there, even if we feel we don’t have time. Did I get all of my official work done that afternoon? No, no I didn’t… not even close. But if a listening ear and a hug helped that woman through another day, then the extra time spent not looking at my desk was worth it.
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