For probably a year or more now our cat, Princess Margaret, has had what we thought was back pain or arthritis or something wrong with her hip or tail that caused her discomfort now and then. It doesn’t happen all the time nor does it seem to prevent her from using the steps or following us around incessantly. Unlike dogs, there are not really options for alleviating pain by medication in cats. We did the best we could to make her more comfortable. Then we noticed what I thought was dried blood on her tail. I gave her a bath and it went away. Then just a few days ago, it was back, only this time it covered almost the whole length of her tail. “Dr. Ryan” looked up her symptoms and the all-knowing internet told us this was really a skin condition that could probably be solved with more bathing using specialty products.
Last night I dutifully gave Princess Margaret a bath. Who knew that baths were so traumatizing?! We have a walk in shower with a sliding glass door. In this shower, she can walk around as I follow her with the shower head wand. It took longer than usual because of the special treatment for her tail and by the time we were done, we were both agitated! Princess Margaret spent the rest of the evening stress eating, licking, holding her tail close to her, and following us around whether upstairs or down. She would look at me and say, “Why would you put me through that awful experience?? I thought you loved me!” How I wish I could tell her that this is supposed to help her problem. That hopefully today or tomorrow her tail will be less painful and with more baths the problem should be kept at bay. I wish I could tell her that I’m not trying to hurt her or make her unhappy but this is what we need to do to heal her.
How much does our heavenly Father wish to tell us the same thing? “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:6-7). I don’t know about you, but I often have tunnel vision and only seem to be able to look at the immediate situation. However, God calls us to look at the very end of our journey, the end result of all of our trials, eternal life with Him. Not everything that happens to us is the will of God, I’m sure God did not wish Joseph to be sold as a slave. And yet even in that circumstance or anything we experience God can turn it around to work for His mission in our lives.
Not everyone reacts the same to the same situation. Someone else in Joseph’s situation might have decided to bemoan what happened and think that God was no longer with them. Perhaps when Potiphar’s wife made advances another person would have fallen into temptation. For me taking a bath isn’t traumatic, actually I quite enjoy it. But for poor Princess Margaret, it seemed like the world was ending. I could have looked at her and said, “Really it’s not that bad! Stop being such a whiner!” Sometimes we can think those same thoughts toward other people. Perhaps someone is struggling to go through something we wouldn’t find difficult or challenging. Just because we react differently doesn’t lessen the trauma that person might be going through.
Even positive life changes can be stressful. The pastor where I work retired yesterday. This past Friday when he came into the office he hadn’t slept very well due to stress. He is preparing for retirement how can that be any more stressful than continuing in a mentally and emotionally demanding job? There are many things we do not see in the lives of others that can cause stress at any time. Perhaps this pastor found packing up his house to move way more stressful than I would? Perhaps driving across the country with all of his earthly belongings is weighing heavy on his mind? I don’t know what is going on in his life outside of what I see and hear at work. People are deeper than the surface and their differences can be as vast as the ocean.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). When we see others struggling let us not say pseudo comforting words like “don’t worry this won’t last forever” or “after this is over you’ll see it wasn’t so bad.” We are not called to judge if someone has the ability to cope with the same situations we are able to. We instead are called to comfort them as we ourselves have been comforted through trials. Perhaps instead we could use phrases like, “I know this is difficult for you, let me know how I can help” or “I’m sorry you are struggling with this, I will certainly keep you in my prayers.” We should also draw their attention to the God of all comfort who is really the only One who can help them! Encourage them to stay strong in their faith and that God sees their trials and knows of their affliction. He is there to help them through their challenge, even if He doesn’t remove their situation.
When baths are traumatic, let’s be bearers of warm towels and not ice water!