“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3 ESV).
I’ve struggled with what to do about gossip in my life. I like to chat with people and invariably one of us will bring up something about someone else. My personal success rate in realizing what I’m about to say before I say it is very low, something I hope with the help of Jesus to improve. I’ve also found when I try to confront other people about whether or not what they tell me is gossip they often say their story is true and therefore it is not gossip. However, according to Merriam-Webster gossip is “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others” or a “rumor or report of an intimate nature.” Therefore gossip can be defined as true facts as well as rumors.
Several years ago someone from the Women’s Bible Study group at work shared an acronym they had discussed: THINK.
T - is it True?
H - is it Helpful?
I - is it Inspiring?
N - is it Necessary?
K - is it Kind?
This list is not necessarily in order of most importance but if you check off each question before you start talking about other people you might be surprised how little you have left to say. Just because something is true doesn’t mean it is necessary. And just because something is necessary doesn’t mean you have to say it in an unkind way. At Trinity, the soup kitchen program receives a variety of clients. When a new co-worker came I felt compelled to give her a heads up on a few of the people who come in, something I wished someone had done for me. I tried my best to be sensitive about the information I was passing along. It was true; it was necessary; it was helpful; but was it kind? I could have said John Doe is crazy, a real pain to deal with but instead I tried to say something like John Doe’s reality is a bit different from the rest of us. Our word choices reveal the motivation behind what we say. “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless” (James 1:26 ESV).
I am certainly a sinner in this regard. While I might have done well on a few occasions, I have failed many other times. But I praise God for Jesus who gives me hope and assurance that He will help me continue my journey to overcome! “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16 ESV). May God move our hearts and guide our mouths to speak His words, to use our Christian characters as a witness to others, and to remind us to THINK!