While dating Ryan I did a few things, that looking back, I would tell someone else were very foolish! We were both attending a Community College which is about an hour and 15 minutes from where I was living. At the time, I was also worked in West Virginia. The whole loop from home, to school, to work took about 2.5 hours. In the second semester of that school year, there was one day a week that Ryan had class that I didn’t but I would still drive to school to sit and chat with him for about a half hour. I drove about two hours out of my way to see him for a half hour. I’ve heard that love is blind. I would say that love also does things out of the norm, things that to outsiders looking in it would make no sense. Love places the other person so far above that we lose sight of ourselves, causing us to make sacrifices that we hardly even take the time to really consider.
In 1 Corinthians chapter 13 the apostle Paul describes love. Among other things love does not “seek its own” but “endures all things.” When Christ came to this planet, He did something that to all appearances wasn’t smart. He gave up whatever divine form He had before becoming human, He chose to be housed in a created human body with ailments and limitations, He gave up the constant adoration of the heavenly host, of being physically present with the Father, of being in a perfect environment where sin did not reign supreme. He came to a dying world, fraught with evil and despair. He voluntarily came to this world that Satan claims as his own. Hardship, heartache, and pain were allotted to Him. And yet for “the joy that was set before Him[. He] endured the cross, despising the shame” (Hebrews 12:2b).
We had not dated very long when I knew Ryan was the one. I could have married him within that first month. However, I knew it would take longer for the people around me, especially my family, to get to know him. I knew if it was real love, we could wait as long as we needed. Over the next two years, we had mostly ups but some downs. Ryan had been married before, and he was struggling to overcome some emotional hurdles. We both wanted to make sure that this indeed was God’s path for us.
I had talked to Ryan the day before. I knew his struggles. I felt that I needed to go see him. Again this didn’t make sense, the drive was so far. I was at work, which is a dead zone, so I couldn’t call him but I felt that I needed to go. Thankfully my boss was very kind and allowed me to take work home so I left early. When I drove back to cell phone range, I called Ryan. I told him I was worried about him and I was coming to see him. When I arrived, he told me he kept a journal to help him work through some of his struggles. He said earlier he had been writing in his journal, pouring out his heart to God. He told God that he knew of people who had gone through hard times. People who had food miraculously show up or a friend showed up at their door to offer an encouraging word. He typed in his journal “where O God is that knock on my door?” And immediately when he entered the question mark his phone rang. It was me telling him I was coming to see him. He said when we got off the phone he cried. God heard him. God knew what was going on. And God wanted us to work through it together.
There is a reason God told the children of Israel to repeat the stories of His deliverance through their generations. Granted our story isn’t of the same caliber as the exodus from Egypt, but everyone can share their testimony no matter how seemingly small. All through our journey small things like this would happen and give us encouragement and hope. If God had not blessed our path we were prepared to call it quits, hard as that would have been emotionally. No decision is worth separating yourself from God. Adam and Eve found that out the hard way.
Regardless of your struggles, pray to God and remember how He has worked in your life. He might answer you in a way you don’t except or even give you the opposite of the answer you wanted. To have real love, to have real meaning, to do the will of God, there must be sacrifices. If God seems silent, do your best to be honest with yourself whether your decision will honor God and then move forward. King David said to the prophet Nathan, “‘See now, I dwell in a house of cedar, but the ark of God dwells inside tent curtains.’ Then Nathan said to the king, ‘Go, do all that is in your heart, for the Lord is with you.’ But it happened that night that the word of the Lord came to Nathan, saying, ‘Go and tell My servant David… When your days are fulfilled and you rest with your fathers, I will set up your seed after you, who will come from your body, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for My name…’” (2 Samuel 7:2b-5a, 12-13a). It is ok to back up, and try again. When God is supreme in your life, He will help you through both good times and times of trouble. The key is moving forward with faith and trust in Him.
To be continued…