As I drove home from work, I contemplated on how to tell my parents I was engaged. The day before I had been visiting Ryan and had asked him to marry me. No frills, no fancy proposal, we weren’t even out in public. After a year and 6 months of dating, it was time to move forward. I went to work and told select people, all of whom were happy for us. I didn’t want to tell too many people since I knew that if word somehow got back to my parents before I personally told them then it would be an even worse situation than what I anticipated. I knew my parents weren’t happy with my choice. Ryan had several strikes against him: He had been married before, he was older than me, and probably the biggest hurdle – he was Seventh-day Adventist. I tried to remind myself that even if I’d brought home some kind of prince my parents wouldn’t have been happy. I am their child, their only child, they were being overprotective. They didn’t want me to get hurt, and they probably didn’t trust someone whom they had only known for a year and a half.
As I drove up the driveway, I gathered my courage and once inside the house told my parents of our engagement. Their reaction was about what I had expected. It wasn’t the happy reception that I’ve seen so many other couples get but at the same time they did not disown me. However, I have a rather tender constitution. Even though I firmly stand for what I believe and the decisions I make, it still tears me up inside when the people I love disdain what is close to my heart. I left the house and drove to an old church down the road. There was a big tree in the front yard under which Ryan had, early on in our relationship, sat with me and played his guitar. I cried for a long while and attempted to compose myself. I loved Ryan and wanted to be with him, and I longed for my family to love him too.
Most things in life that are worth having involve struggle and patience. I talked to God and told Him that if He was truly behind all this that I knew it would work out in the end, to give me strength to look beyond the immediate to the future happiness that I hoped would be around the corner. We moved forward with planning as best we could. One day, my mom came into my room and told me she had had a revelation. Earlier she had been driving to an appointment and as she met an oncoming vehicle she recognized the driver. She thought about this woman’s life and the person she had married. He was a drunk, didn’t really work, and treated this woman very poorly. Mom realized that Ryan really was a nice man who treated me well even though he did not have all the qualities she would have preferred. I told my mom about the prayer I had before all this began, asking God to send a man who would love me, have things in common and want to spend time with me, and who was a good Christian man. Mom revealed that she had actually prayed pretty much the exact same thing for me although, she confessed, she wished she had been more specific in the religious part! We had a good conversation and turned that corner I had been hoping for.
Things went along smoothly after that and we got married in the fall of 2012. The struggle and patience had blossomed into blessings that I appreciated even more from having gone through that time of trouble. Two years later, with much study and prayer, I was baptized into the Seventh-day Adventist Church. I did not choose a husband blindly nor did I take my Christian walk lightly. I studied myself into the church because I wanted to attend a church that followed scripture and not tradition. Tradition is not always a bad thing, but when it supersedes or is equal to the Bible then it becomes a problem. Before joining, I wanted to make sure I understood the Seventh-day Adventist Church’s beliefs and determine whether or not they were Biblically founded. I felt very far behind in understanding scripture. Previously I had not really spent much time reading the Bible nor delving into its meaning. I felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of knowledge the Bible contains and how much some other people already knew. However, everyone is in a different place in their walk and you don’t need to feel like anyone is looking down on you for not knowing what they know. Truly understanding scripture takes time and effort just like finding the right person to marry! There is always something more to learn, something more to see in a scripture verse that maybe you missed before. Spend time with God, with scripture, make your Christian walk an important part of your life, study with other Christians whom you respect, search the scriptures as for hidden treasure, and then you will grow from only drinking milk to eating the meat of truth. “If you seek [wisdom] as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God” (Proverbs 2:4-5). “For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil” (Hebrews 5:13-14).
I praise God for the many blessings he has given to me and to us in our marriage. I pray this small testimony has been a blessing to you and may it strengthen your faith as it did mine.