Today our normal church service was cancelled due to impending snow. Therefore, Ryan and I decided to visit another church in our area. I’ve gotten to know a few people there and it is always good to catch up with them. We were invited to their fellowship meal and at the last minute we decided to stay. When I sat down beside of Ryan, I realized I didn’t think I knew the person to my right but it was hard to tell since all I could see was his back. I’m a rather small person and so I couldn’t see anyone on that side of the table beyond him and the other people opposite from him seemed to be engrossed in their own conversation. On my other side, Ryan was speaking with a friend and I drifted in and out of listening to their conversation. Across from me were two of Ryan’s friend’s children who are fairly young, just barely in school.
If I had been new to the church, whether I was a first time visitor to an Adventist Church or simply an Adventist who hadn’t been to that particular church before I would probably have been very lonely during that meal. As it was, since I did know several other people in the room, I could easily have left the table and chit chatted with others or joined in with Ryan and our mutual friend. But if I hadn’t known anyone at all, the person sitting with their back to me almost the whole time would have seemed very unwelcoming. This made me question how I interact with other church members and with visitors before church, during the service, and afterwards. If there is someone I don’t know, do I introduce myself and talk with them? Do I go beyond the first obligatory smile, “Happy Sabbath,” and handshake? Or maybe it is even someone I do know! Are they sitting alone at potluck? This ought not to be so!
I remember my first year of college. That weekend after I got settled in, when most of my other friends went off to attend churches in their respective denominations, I decided to go to the nearest Presbyterian Church as I was Presbyterian at the time. Let me say first that I don’t like to do many things alone. If I have to eat out by myself I will 98% of the time eat in my car verses eating inside the restaurant. I have never taken a trip by myself. And the one and only time I convinced myself as a middle schooler to go to a camp by myself (because I was going to prove to myself that I could make friends without already knowing anyone) I was beyond miserable the whole time. No one wanted to be my friend because they all already had friends, and when you are in middle school that is a hard thing to accept. So not only was this the first time I ever attended this particular church it was also my last. The people were kind and greeted me and handed me a bulletin as I came in. No one sat with me. No one tried to talk to me after the service. Even though the reason we should go to church is to worship God, people also need to engaged with those who are attending to encourage one another and support each other.
So today, if I had been new to the church would I have gone back? I’m not sure. But God used my seating arrangement today to focus my attention across the table instead of to the sides. Children are also just as important as visitors and newcomers and anyone else. I can remember many times as a child, an only child, being somewhere with my mom and not having anyone to talk to or being ignored. Children can feel just as left out (or even more so) than adults. We all need to feel like we belong or at least that people care about us besides our immediately family members. So today I talked more with the kids and before we left the youngest one hugged me. Maybe she’s a hugger and does that to everyone, I don’t know. But maybe she did that because instead of getting up and searching the room for an adult to talk to I asked her questions about what she was coloring and whether or not giraffes were orange or yellow (I thought yellow, apparently they are orange). I cannot say whether or not I would have enjoyed a conversation with the man on my right but a hug from a little child did mean a lot to me. And if I had spoken with him I probably would not have talked with the children. God cares about each one of His children, young and old, and so should we. “But Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.’” (Matthew 19:14).