I have had a hard couple of weeks. Nothing big has happened but a lot of little things that added up. I feel bad for Ryan because he’s usually the one around when I reach my limit and explode. This is not a good thing nor is it a Christian way to handle life. Jesus says to “[cast] all your care upon Him; for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). If I truly would do that, then I wouldn’t even have to worry about exploding because it would never happen. But the Christian walk is just that… a walk and “being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). It is a never-ending walk; there is always some part of our lives that could use Jesus’ touch.
Last night as I was getting ready for bed, I read the last part of this verse: “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). My problem is that I’m relying on myself to handle the stress of life instead of giving it to God. Without Jesus we can’t even take our next breath, let alone survive the trials and temptations of each day. Part of my stress comes from my job and if you think that working for a church isn’t stressful then I’m going to guess you have never worked for one. I have witnessed only a snippet of what the pastor has to do and deal with every day, but I know exactly what the office administer and I handle.
Not only is it a stressful job but depending on what you do wrong you might push people away from the church and God. For reasons unknown to me, some people think if you work for a church that you don’t make mistakes and if you do they take it personally. Almost like you wanted to make a mistake. I would guess these people have either never made a mistake in their jobs, maybe they’ve never even had to have a job, or they haven’t read the scripture that says “and just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise” (Luke 6:31). I can safely say I have NEVER purposefully made a mistake. Yes I forget things, I do things wrong, I spell things wrong, and yes sometimes I even try to pass the blame to other people. Yes… I’m a sinner. I’m also a Christian. Most days I don’t feel worthy to bear that title. There are many days I find myself constantly thinking about “what ifs.” What if this person says this to me; what will I say back? What if I’m interrupted again and again and again and again to the point where I’m so frustrated that I explode on some innocent person that next comes into my office? What if I come home and bring that mess of stress with me either to my spouse, my friends, or to my church? I am honored to do things for our church, but honestly working for a church as my day job and then coming home at night and putting in sometimes hours of work doing much the same thing is hard. And just like at my day job… sometimes I make mistakes, I neglect things, and say the wrong things.
This past Sabbath, people asked how I was and the best I could give them was “well I’m here.” What a terrible response when Jesus has died for me! Later that day, I called someone and their response to my question of how they were was “better than usual.” What a much better answer than mine. Each day is a new opportunity to serve Him and to show others His love, but often I don’t think of others as those who Christ has died for and honestly I don’t even remind myself that he died for me. I am worth something to God even if not to anybody else, even considering all my faults and stresses.
As you go out this week, remember that Jesus died for you and for everyone around you. Give your stress to God because He has ASKED for it! If you can, spread a little encouragement to others because we can all use it. And cut people some slack, especially people who work for the church, and not just our little church but for the conference, the union, and on up to the world church, because we are all doing the best we can! And no, our best isn’t good enough, that’s why we need Jesus.