In Sabbath school, we discussed the merits of exposure to differing viewpoints so that our own understanding and knowledge of different topics grows and we might better understand others. I’m sure most of you know by now that I’m a glass half empty kind of person. If you ever want a view point of the downside to something just ask me! The lesson for last week had an Ellen White quote that described some characteristics of Jesus, one of which was “winsomeness of disposition.” Winsomeness isn’t a word we often use these days. According to Dictionary.com it means “sweetly or innocently charming; winning; engaging.” Jesus was a pleasure to be around. While He did speak about some hard truths to swallow, He always did so with love and with an attitude that drew people to Him. He most certainly was not a “negative Nancy,” a term some people have used to describe me.
Our guest speaker last Sabbath had a very good message. Not one that is necessarily easy to hear but one that needs to be said. In summary, he said we need to let our lights shine so that we may show the love of Jesus to those who are in darkness (Matthew 5:15). He also gave a testimony of someone he knew from doing prison ministry who had been sentenced to 1500 years in prison. No that’s not a typo; the prisoner really said 1500 years. As soon as I heard that I disbelieved the person the story was about. Why? Based on the other information given about why the man was in prison, this was an unbelievable number. I cannot imagine that a judge would pass a sentence like that anyway. What would be the point? And even if a judge did I doubt that someone with that kind of sentence would even be allowed to see any visitors.
As the story continued the prisoner gave his life to Christ and became an influential witness for God in whatever prison he was transferred to. Once the man got out of prison, years later, did he continue to be a witness to others who were stuck in the system? Our guest didn’t say, but he did say the man went telling his story to pretty much any church who would allow him to come and speak. At times, the various ministers for Christ give evidence to other believers of how God has worked through them so as to encourage the brethren especially when this testimony could lead to a better understanding of God’s will (Acts 15:12). And yet I wondered why the main focus of this man’s ministry wasn’t for those who were still stuck in the prison system as he had been. Jesus said He came to “seek and save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10). And he told the disciples to basically go and do the same (Matthew 28:19-20). So in my negativity, I wondered whether the course this man took was more beneficial to the mission of God than had he done something different. And of course I don’t know this person, and I pray he is doing exactly what the Lord has given him to do. However, this whole thought chain made me question my own life and what I’m doing (which I think was the real point of the entire sermon).
After working for several years at a church that helps those in need, I can recall many times that I’ve been lied to (and the person(s) got caught) and many more times when I questioned the validity of what was being said to me but had no evidence to the contrary. A few months ago, I found out one person I spent extra time helping and have “known” for the whole duration of my job lied to me. Before that I mostly believed what this person said, even when others cautioned me. I went, in my opinion, above and beyond helping this person with various “problems” in their life. One day the hospital called me because this person had listed me as an emergency contact, unbeknownst to me. This person had apparently been doing some kind of illegal drugs and that’s why they were in the hospital. I admit I had rather unChristian feelings. While I was glad they received the help they needed, I was angry, sad, and disappointed. The hardest part was realizing this person was not actually interested in the Bible but only in getting from me whatever resources they could. If this person had been honest with me about what they were doing, I would have felt different. I understand that addiction is a real thing and often very hard to break even when you want to. Obviously they not only didn’t want to stop this self-destructive behavior but they were careening down a path I didn’t want to travel. I never confronted them about the incident. What good would it have done? I stopped trying to contact this person about Bible studies even though I felt bad like I was giving up. This person then only spoke to me when they wanted something, never inquiring about the studies again… until Saturday afternoon. This person called and left a message saying, “I need to talk to you, it’s important. It’s not about money or nothing like that so don’t get worried. Please call me back or I’m going to keep calling your phone until you finally pick up. It has to do with good stuff, you know the Bible and stuff like this. So please call me.”
I didn’t believe them. I didn’t call them back. And they never called again.
Has my negative outlook ruined my usefulness for the work Christ has set before me? Has my light dwindled to a mere sputter? I hope this week when I see this person at the lunch program to ask if they are truly interested in Bible studies. I ask for prayer and wisdom that the Holy Spirit will guide me to the truth and that I will have stamina even when the road seems difficult.
To be continued next week.