“1 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:…
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 ‘Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.’
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:1, 10-31).
Proverbs 31 paints a beautiful image of a woman who isn’t just a mother but also someone who has cultivated a relationship with God and therefore has many other admirable qualities. Keep in mind that even though this was written by “King Lemuel,” the true source of all his material was his mother. As a mother and wife, she disclosed to him what qualities she considered worthy of someone in her position. Obviously, she positively impacted her son’s life since he felt compelled to write her wisdom down.
So let’s pull out the essence of this Psalm. A blessed mother and wife is: virtuous, trustworthy, always does good, willing to work, not afraid of working hard, gets up early, cares for the whole household, has a mind for good and prosperous businesses, strong both physically and mentally/emotionally, does her best in everything, productive all day long until the job is done, skilled, helps the less fortunate, desires items of lasting quality and usefulness, industrious, honorable, wise, kind, good example for her children, and reverences the Lord. This is quite the list of qualities. On one hand, a woman could feel a bit downtrodden, thinking she will never measure up to all the characteristics of this ideal wife. On the other hand, we can realize that this is just that, an ideal, something to aspire toward. The results of her labors are evident because whole town speaks well of her (31). She doesn’t need to boast about what she has done, everyone in her life can tell what kind of woman she is by the way she lives her life. Not all mothers fit this bill. Not all mothers wanted to be mothers. Not all wives wanted to be married. Not all women will want to rise to be the kind of person described here. And no woman is sinless.
One woman I know has, on occasion, been in tears because she felt pressured to be the perfect woman. The bar was set so high there was no way she could ever achieve her goal. She felt like she wasn’t able to give to her children the things or experiences she wanted them to have and therefore thought they wouldn’t flourish in life as much as they otherwise could. She wasn’t able to spend enough time with her husband, and she felt she wasn’t performing her job as well as she wanted to. You’ll note that in all of these instances I used the phrase “she felt.” This was how she perceived her world. But if you asked the people she worked for, they praised what a good job she does. If you would see her children and husband, you would know that they are well taken care of and are all successful in their individual lives. Sure we all have setbacks but the trend over all is forward. If this woman could have taken a step back and assessed the situation from an outside viewpoint, she would have seen a family that, at least outwardly, fits the ideal. We can all strive to live better but that shouldn’t stop us from recognizing that we don’t live in a perfect world.
Today is Mother’s Day. Remember today, that if you still have your mother, that she isn’t perfect and remember… you aren’t either! Perhaps you don’t get along with your mother. Perhaps your mother drives you crazy. Perhaps your mother isn’t a positive influence in your life. Those kind of mothers do happen because we don’t live in a perfect world. If that is the case, still send up a prayer for your mother today. God calls us to honor our parents whether we have a good relationship with them or not (Exodus 20:12). And God came to save your mother as well as you (John 3:16). That doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with her, if that will be detrimental to your well-being. If someone else has been a good mother figure in your life be sure to tell them that today. Or if you know someone whom you respect to be a good mother, like the woman I spoke of earlier, let them know too. If you are blessed to still have your mom and have a good relationship with her be sure to tell her how much she means to you. She won’t be around forever. A friend of mine just lost her mother yesterday. You never know what tomorrow may bring, tell your mom or any other mother in your life, that you love her today. And thank God for your mom because regardless of anything else about her, you are here because of her. Thank you Lord for all the mothers, may You guide us all as to how we can show your love to all mothers in our lives today.