Whenever we get a new Sabbath School lesson book I always sit down that first Sabbath of the new quarter and read all of the mission stories. When I came across the one for last week, I found the story vaguely familiar. (Spoiler alert, if you haven’t read the story stop now and go read it here!) In summary, a woman finds out that all the strange things her husband does is the result of ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. As I was reading her story, I thought… hmmm sounds a lot like my life with Ryan. Then later when Ryan read the story he piped up and said “hey this sounds like me!” While I could relate to this woman’s situation, I was a bit concerned about the basic bottom line of the story. The woman seems to say that her husband, because he has ADHD, is now her mission field… as if he wasn’t before. As a married couple husband and wife should have concern for the other in regards to daily life and also their relationship with the Lord both together and as individuals.
I knew when we got married that Ryan had something similar to ADHD. I knew that there would be times when this would affect my level of serenity. However, the woman in this story only shares her perspective. She doesn’t mention how her husband feels. If you know anyone with ADHD, you’ll know they are just as frustrated with its effects as you are. And blaming or getting mad and demanding that people with ADHD change how they function is like telling someone who is blind… well just try harder and you’ll be able to see. It’s just not that simple.
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” (John 15:13). In the past, when I’ve read this verse I always thought Jesus was speaking about loving others so much you would die for them. And perhaps that indeed is part of His point, but I think this statement goes beyond a mere physical death. If I saw someone I love standing somewhere where a car was about to hit them I would (I pray) run over and knock them out of the way even if that meant my life on this earth would end. That kind of situation usually involves a split second decision. Your brain decides what to do with minimal thinking, it relies on decisions you’ve made in the past to calculate a faster reaction in a potentially deadly situation. All things considered, that would be an easy decision. When I dig deeper into this verse, I realize that Jesus isn’t just considering a physical death but a death to the self-centered decisions I make on a daily basis. In laying down your life, you are choosing to put someone else above yourself on the ladder of importance. And if God is at the top of your ladder, then He will help you make decisions based on His desire and not your own selfish will.
And maybe you’re saying to yourself right now, “I always put others first why am I even reading this!” I would challenge you to take a few moments and consider your life. On almost a daily basis, whether at home or at work I will get annoyed by someone. Either by something they have done or something they are unwilling or unable to do. But why do I allow the actions (or lack thereof) of others to annoy me? Because I’m considering myself first. I’m thinking of how I want them to behave and the things I expect them to do. Laying down your life also includes laying down your complaints and your priorities. Does that mean you should simply take everything sitting down and never advocate for change? No. It does mean that if you want change that it may not happen in your expected time frame nor in the way you maybe wanted it to. And how you go about instigating that change should align with God’s principles of love and the realization that we live in a fallen imperfect world. It means letting go of your expectations that don’t fit in with real life. This is the key to true happiness!