“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Genesis 2:18). From the very beginning, God created us to be social beings and desired companionship for us. When I married, I moved from my parents’ home to live with my husband. A week before the wedding, his job changed causing him to work from 2pm to 11pm instead of 9pm to 5pm which are the hours I worked. I went from living full time with two other people to being alone in the evenings. While I’m not a social butterfly, I prefer having someone else around even if we are in two different rooms. Looking back, I think I became depressed but didn’t realize it. It’s easy to know you need help when you cut your leg or sprain your back. Depression and loneliness are sneaky. While they certainly come with physical symptoms, they are not immediately identifiable and can go undiagnosed by both the person experiencing it and those around you.
A few days ago, at the church where I work, we had a funeral for a man who committed suicide. Maybe he had medical problems with no relief or maybe he and his wife didn’t get along, I don’t know. But what I do know is that his wife was struggling to keep it together and many people attended the funeral. I wish he could have been alive to see all the people who cared about him. And what about his wife who is now a widow? I can’t even imagine trying to deal with her sorrow. And once all the family leaves, will she be lonely? It is sometimes difficult to comfort someone who has experienced a “normal” loss. Will people avoid talking to her because they feel awkward about how her husband died? I hope not because this woman, like all of us, needs social support.
In recent years, loneliness has been gaining ground in the medical field as an “epidemic.” According to The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry loneliness affects 25% to 60% of older Americans. Yesterday, I went to visit our friend Jerry who is 86. He had fallen, broke a hip, and is now in a nursing facility to recover. I spent about a half hour with him and he told me at least four or five times how lonely he was and yet he was surrounded by people. Loneliness can strike people whether they are physically alone or not. Jesus calls us to visit those in prison (Matthew 25:39). When someone forces you to stay in a certain place I would equate that to a prison and many of our nursing facilities are just that. While they help take care of people, most of the residents, like Jerry, don’t actually want to be there. The staff of these facilities can only do so much. It is up to us to pick up the slack and bring a smiling face to those who are forgotten and alone whether they be in a facility or in their house next to yours. I understand that we are busy. Everyone has a million things to do. While completing daily necessities is good, having them consume all your time to the point you cannot reach out to others will sink you into the side ditch of life.
When Jesus walked this earth, He made a point to speak to those who were often outcasts, the downtrodden, the broken hearted. He calls us to do the same. He said to “… take up [your] cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24). The cross(es) we bear include not only religious persecution but crosses of physical, mental, and emotional needs not only for ourselves but for others as well. The battle with the loneliness epidemic is real and often those of us not experiencing it are blind to those who are suffering, many silently. May God open your eyes and ears to those in need around you. You might not have time to visit hundreds of people, but just pick one and see if you are not blessed in the process!